A TALE OF TWO GRANDMOTHERS

DELLA

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My maternal grandmother lived in a small, overheated apartment, seldom venturing outside even though she lived beside a large and lovely city park.   She dipped snuff and kept a tin can in a rolled-down, small brown paper sack within reach to spit.  Back then, there were only three TV channels, but her life revolved around the daily watching of her favorite shows.  Several soaps and Queen for a Day, were favorites.

Grandmother Della, lived on a small pension earned as a housekeeper working in university dormitories during the 30’s and 40’s.  As far as I recall, other than her rather gross tobacco habit, her health was OK, but she chose to live a frail life.   Della  died a quiet death.

BETTY

My dad’s mom was a farmer’s widow by the time I got to know her, and right up until her end, she worked like a farm wife every day.  “Good German stock”, I remember hearing said about her.  I had no idea what that meant, but it seemed it was always said as a compliment.

Her name was Betty and her vegetable garden was at least an acre that she tended herself.  Apple and cherry trees provided pie filling and fruit.  More than once, I watched as she cornered and caught a fat hen for Sunday dinner, wringing its neck off, and then sitting with me on the back porch steps to pluck the feathers.

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She also had a divorced adult daughter, one of my aunts, living with her who had three kids.  The house had a basement furnace into which coal had to be shoveled during the day and night.  Water came from a cistern that had a tendency to run low during dry spells.  Betty managed the entire household and property.

That wasn’t unusual for women of her generation during times when America was still mostly rural.  Women, like men, frequently ended their lives doing many of the same daily chores they performed as children, because that is what it took to live.  You didn’t run out to the grocery store for ingredients for dinner, you CREATED dinner from what you had grown, raised, caught or hunted.

Grandma Betty received a small rent check from the tenant on the family farm back in Arkansas, but she never stopped the only work she’d ever known.  The work she did put food on the table for her household. She enjoyed travel and read everything she could get her hands on.  Injuries from two freakish automobile accidents claimed her life.  (She was involved in a serious car accident, and then in another when the ambulance transporting her was also in a crash en route to the hospital.)

NEVER RETIRE IF IT MEANS YOU STOP LIVING

One woman chose to draw her blinds, turn on the television and dip snuff until her time was over.  The other used each of her days to create and nurture an existence for an extended family.  One woman chose to allow time to wash over her.  The other chose to pursue life without regard to time.

Both women lived to a respectable old age.  Both women died.  They chose different paths for life.

One of the many great things about America is that we can chose to generally live as we wish, as our budgets allow.  But it has been proven time and again that those who live active, engaged lives generally live longer, happier lives.

DEFINE WHAT LIVING MEANS; AND LIVE, IF YOU DO RETIRE

Are those who chose to “quit” outside activities “living in retirement”, or merely waiting for the clock to run out?

This is an area where you can truly have an impact on how the rest of your life evolves.  What does living really mean to you?  How can you keep on living as long as you remain conscious?  What steps can you take now to prepare for a retirement of deep living?  Then –Do It!