ElderAuthority.com

Online Starter Kit for The Conversation Project

Why A Starter Kit for The Conversation Project?
The single greatest obstacle to having a “good death” is denial.  We don’t want to know about death, and we certainly don’t want to think about our own deaths. Instead, we do our best not to “peek”.  So we  arrive at the end of our lives without having thought about what we would like, much less how we could ease the grief of those we leave behind.
In February, I posted an article titled, Family… More

Family Caregiving and The Conversation Project

Death & Denial
No one wants to talk about death, grief, loss or incapacitation. So we don’t.  The statistics are awful.

Most people say that making sure their family is not burdened by tough decisions is “extremely important,” yet  56% have not communicated their end-of-life wishes
70% of people say they prefer to die at home, but only 30% get that wish
While 80% of people say that if seriously ill, they would want to talk to their doctor about end-of-life… More

Use the Holidays to Start “The Conversation”

This video from CBS Nightly News gives simple but essential advice on how conversations about end of life planning should begin.
The daughter in this news story notes that sharing final wishes “shows a lot of respect for those of us who are going to be left behind.” I give thanks every day that my parents had the courage and respect for me and my siblings to address this difficult topic while they were still alive.   It made their last years more peaceful and helped… More

A Late Quartet: Aging with Grace(notes)

Movie Night in Ann Arbor, MI
Yesterday I fled the reconstruction noise and went to the movies.  My brother, Tim, had called me a few days earlier to tell me how me he had enjoyed A Late Quartet.  I happily tucked myself into the State Street Theater in downtown Ann Arbor with a large bag of popcorn, not knowing much about the film but trusting Tim’s taste in movies.  He thought it would resonate with me not only because I had spent 20 years of my life playing the viola, but… More

Turn Memories Into Mementos

Memory Triggers
Cousin Sheree lost her mother, Syble,  six years ago.  When it came time to sort and distribute her mother’s possessions, Sheree could not part with her mother’s favorite coat.  It was a bright cherry red winter coat.  Syble had loved it!   She wore it everywhere, even on her last drive–to hospice.
The coat was not something that Sheree would wear, yet she could not let go of such a vivid reminder of her mother.  Six years later, Sheree… More

Wanda Sykes on Organ Donation

Become an Organ Donor
By donating your organs after you die, you can save or improve as many as 50 lives.  Many families say that knowing their loved one helped save other lives helped them cope with their loss.  Here are three easy ways to register as a donor.

Register with your state’s donor registry. Most states have registries.
Designate your choice on your driver’s license when you obtain or renew your license.
Sign and carry a donor card.

You can find more information… More

How Do You Scatter Ashes?

Steve Blow published an article yesterday in the Dallas Morning News which addressed the protocol and legality of scattering ashes after cremation. This is an issue I have wondered about, but have never taken the time to research.
Parent’s Ashes on Hold
Both of my parents passed away within the last four years.  They donated their bodies to science research, but their remains were cremated.   My siblings and I have not yet reached agreement about what to do with the… More

CONTESTING A WILL

Pamela Yip, Personal Finance reporter for the Dallas Morning News,  remains one of my favorite reporters.  I feel a kinship to her style of reporting which is accessible, practical, and relevant to everyday life.  Last week she wrote an excellent article about how difficult it is to contest a will.  Here is what you need to know.
REMEMBER THAT THIS IS YOUR FAMILY
You cannot contest a will until the person is dead and the will is offered for probate.
Think twice before you leave… More

CELEBRATING LIFE AND DEATH

Today is the second anniversary of my mother’s death.  It is not a day of mourning so much as a day of reflection.
CELEBRATING A LIFE
I miss my mother every day.   She wasn’t the greatest mother in her child rearing years; yet, over time, she learned how to love  and respect herself and give in ways that have nurtured me and my siblings tenderly in our adulthood.  She is an example of someone who lived long enough to get it right.
WE ALWAYS HAVE EACH OTHER
I have had my… More

ADVANCED ALZHEIEMER’S NURSING HOME CARE

DYING WITH ADVANCED DEMENTIA
Last week I attended a conference at UT Southwestern Medical Center on End of Life Issues for Alzheimer’s Patients“.  A presentation by Janice A. Knebl, DO, MBA, FACP, FACOI, DSWOP, that focused on artificial feeding made me aware of how important it is for medical professionals s well as civilians to understand the science as well as the moral and issues.
Those with Advanced Dementia who die in nursing facilities are not recognized… More